Magic Formula for Relationships?

May 20, 2011

So a+b=c, right?  Is this true in relationships?  In business: Boss (a) + Employee (b) = Success.  In personal: Male (a) + Female (b) = fulfilling long term marriage.  Yes!  a+b=c; however, it is not a simple, straight forward process.  “A” and “B” must seek to understand relationship foundation and practice the skills that it takes to form successful, great relationships.  Relationship skills are not inherent.

 Relationships create a powerful impact on businesses and lives.  To understand the deeper layer of what affects those relationships, one must examine the foundation of which these relationships begin.  Your foundation (your personal leadership) includes your values, your mission, your growth opportunities, and your beliefs, limiting and otherwise.  How people feel about themselves and their self-acceptance has far reaching effects on all of their relationships.  A direct correlation exists between creating quality relationships in your organization and its effect on your bottom line.  Quality relationships power the company, as well as the individual’s lives, and keep all balanced.

 Building relationships offline and online is something I’m very passionate about and is a vital component of my mission.  David Fraser, is also fascinated about the study of relationships and has realized this to be part of his deeper mission. David is the Company Director and Chartered Engineer holding a PHD & MBA. He’s also a Qualified Commercial Mediator and Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) Master Practitioner.  In reading his recent book, Relationships Made Easy, David shares his experiences and insights that fueled him in becoming a relationship expert.

 David Fraser is a highly intelligent man who has struck me as a man of integrity. He has dedicated himself to teaching about creating quality relationships. In his book, David discusses in depth the 12 step formula for relationships.

 1: Attention to others.

2: Attitude – using the presuppositions of NLP.

3: Self-control – with peripheral vision and meditation.

4: Wavelength – VAK or A-D.

5: Filters – noticing their effects.

6: Connection – managing rapport.

7: Values – using the levels model and Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.

8: Language – unpacking deletions, distortions and generalisations.

9: Self-awareness – working with perceptions.

10: Attention to ourselves – choosing what we want, being peaceful.

11: Balance – resolving conflict inside and outside.

12: Love – adding the final ingredient

 David shares a great Dale Carnegie quotation in his book:  “The world is full of people who are grabbing and self-seeking.  So the rare individual who unselfishly tries to serve others has an enormous advantage.  He has little competition.”  This is so true.  Creating your distinction and being memorable are important elements in standing out on the playing field. So, maybe you are not the best engineer or the world’s richest entrepreneur, but we all have the same level playing field when it comes to being memorable in creating our relationships. Those who have great relationship skills WIN in business and in life!

 It’s refreshing to hear the study of relationships from a male’s point of view, as well as from a left brain perspective.  David discusses how relationships overlap all business and life.  Mr. Fraser took a thorough approach to this book and is intense in his discussion. He provides lots of examples for you to relate to. Also, based on his engineer profile, personality & learning style, he presents lots of visuals and diagrams breaking down the various aspects to creating quality relationships. He and I both agree that interpersonal skills are the distinction between success and reaching goals. He has done a great job in capturing an intangible concept of relationships to showing it as tangibly as he could with charts, exercises and the like. David’s book has a great layout, is easy to read and provides checklists and summaries.

 Ahhh, is there a Magic Formula for Relationships?….You decide! In summary, magic takes work – the best magicians practice to make it look seamless.  Magical relationships in your business and in your personal life create bottom line results and fulfillment. There is magic in companies and individuals who invest in relationship building, online and offline, as they will be the forerunners in successful business and life skills including global leadership, collaboration, and work/life balance which are the current names in the game!

 To hear more on how relationships impact business and life, listen to David Fraser’s April 12th radio show, “Transforming Your Results with the Relationship Formula”  on his book for more detailed information. He will tell us about having the right blend of integrating the people skills disciplines with the norms of major programmes and corporate organizations; how a behavior change in organizations can be created and how complexity can be made simplified and made manageable.

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One Response to “Magic Formula for Relationships?”

  1. […] 18th – whoohoo! you are here May 19th – Wise 1 Coaching, Julie Wise May 20th – Center for Social Connections blog, Marie Pijanowski May 23rd – Samantha Gluck May 24th – Trey Pennington May 25th – […]

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